Considering this is the only place i can post what i feel, i am. My father passed away yesterday at noon and i can not even process it. im so confused, he was perfectly fine and happy and laughing and the last thing i said to him was “goodnight”. Goodnight will never be the same and nor will I. He was the best dad anyone could ask for , he raised me strong like a bull. He always said everything happens for a reason and to never give up on a dream. I never did. I’m only 15 and I feel so empty. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and I never ever got a call. He had a heart attack. But he never felt any pain whatsoever which is what he wanted. I feel like this is just my imagination and he’s gunna be walking through that door saying “alright guys wheres my dinner?” or “whats cookin good lookin”  I miss him so much nobody will ever ever understand. My dad died on the 16th just like his brother. And i really hope he rests in peace. My father always put other peoples happiness before him. He hated seeing people cry and being down. Which is why i always had the biggest smile on my face when I was with him. He could make me cry, laugh, fall, all at the same time. If I could talk to him for one last time, there would be so many things i would want to say. He was the funniest guy i ever knew, and i am so incredibly grateful he was my daddy. Rest easy big boy. 

I love you daddy and I always will. I’m only strong because you always said I couldn’t give up, and I won’t. I promise, because you’re my number one guy and I’m just like you.